Sunday, May 17, 2015

"This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a Mother..."

Today was the first time I had ever participated in the Bay to Breakers race shit show event. Armed with a minimal effort bee costumer, I took off with my swarm to conquer the city. The controlled chaos was like eye candy for anyone who enjoys people watching. The path of the race might as well have been declared a war zone because there are things that I saw today that I can't unsee...things that would definitely be considered illegal on any other day. And it all started and ended with a huge population of bros that seemed to come out in full force today.

I mention bros in prefacing Maroon 5's new single because it's the ultimate bro song. It's catchy, repeatable, vulgar and hints at having to deal with the consequences of making bad decisions. That my friends is what I experienced today in a nutshell and had this song been out a week earlier, I'm sure I would have been listening to it for all seven miles of chaos. To put it all in a nutshell, enjoy this one quick because you're going to be forced to listen to it for the majority of the summer. As a result, I'd like to formally congratulate Maroon 5 for yet another #1 single...#ThisSummerIsGonnaHurt


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